


Jealousy Is Watching

by FlyRobinFly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Arguements, Drabble, Fights, Getting Together, Jealous Finn, Jealous Poe, Jealousy, Just a thought, M/M, POV Alternating, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Somewhat Ambiguous Ending, but it's ok, but its heavily implied and safe to assume that they work things out and get together, they work things out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26939899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyRobinFly/pseuds/FlyRobinFly
Summary: Poe was already grieving and steeping in his own anxiety about being the new General of the Resistance. He didn't need to see Finn kissing Rey and emphasizing his broken heart on top of it.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	Jealousy Is Watching

**Author's Note:**

> This was literally something I just threw together today and didn't even think about it much. I'm not even going to bother editing it. Hope you enjoy my drabbly thing.

Poe stood with his hands on his hips, watching pilots and fighters rush to their ships. It felt wrong, not being among them. But being General meant staying behind and commanding the troops on their missions.

After the Battle of Exegol, they’d hoped it would be the end but it never was. There would always be an enemy to fight, an oppressor to stand up to. No peace for those with the universe on their shoulders.

Poe didn’t know how Leia did it. It felt wrong, not having her there. She’d barely been gone for a day. There had been celebrations the entire day before. The next morning, they had already received reports of First Order outposts becoming more active and kidnapped children in need of rescue. Leia and Snap couldn’t be mourned yet. There was still work to do.

Poe squinted up at the sky as he watched three squadrons take off for their assignments. He should be with them. Snap should be with them. Leia should be alive and in command and he should be flying with Snap and Jess and Kare.

The new General’s chest tightened with grief and an anxiety he’d never felt until Leia died. It was all up to him. Everyone was counting on Poe Dameron to lead them in the fight against evil. He was already being plagued with decisions he’d rather not make and giving orders he’d rather be taking.

In theory, Poe wasn’t alone. He turned towards the Falcon where Finn was saying goodbye to Rey, Chewie, and Lando. They had their own mission, one involving sentates and chancellors and peace making. Lando would be doing the negotiating on behalf of the Resistance, of course, but Rey and Chewie would be his bodyguards.

Poe worried about them the least, a Jedi and two very experienced war heros. They would be alright. He was confident they’d be more than alright. That pit in Poe’s stomach almost went away with that comforting thought. But then he saw Finn lean in and press a kiss to Rey’s cheek. That pit of grief and anxiety was replaced with a seething hot anger.

He scoffed and thought to himself that that was just what he needed: a reminder that even in his grief and anxiety, he was left alone and broken-hearted. He shook his head and spun around, heading for his tent. He needed a moment alone, to think or to not think. Maybe he just needed to feel.

~~~

Finn pressed a kiss to his friend’s cheek. “Good luck, Rey,” he told her, clasping her hand and shaking it fondly. He was so happy that she was alive. He’d thought he lost her. He’d felt it. The same way he’d felt Leia.

Finn had been feeling a lot lately. Almost everything. He felt Rey being pulled towards the darkness, then back into the light. He’d felt Leia slipping away from them, treasuring every goodbye with the General because he never knew when it would be his last moment with her.

For once, all felt right to him. Even if Leia was gone, he could still feel her. She was a warm presence around them, around Rey and Poe. She guided them. He had faith in her. He had hope in the light.

He felt a firm clap on the back. “Careful, Finn,” Lando’s warning voice said as he passed him and started up the ramp of the Falcon. “Jealousy is watching you,” he said, turning around and gesturing somewhere behind Finn. He turned to Rey, offering the young woman a hand. “Are you ready?”

“Of course. I will be there in a moment.” She looked at Finn, whose eyes had followed Lando’s direction, landing on Poe. The other General was walking away from them, briskly with a certain kick in his step that said he was upset about something. “He needs you, Finn,” she told him.

Finn’s jaw tightened when he saw Poe passing up Zorii who gave him a demure, “Hey, Spicy. What’s wrong with you?” Poe seemed to ignore her entirely, going right for his tent. Of course, Zorri went after him, slipping in through the opening of the tent swiftly.

Finn shook his head and turned his attention back to Rey, pointing behind him with his thumb. “What is she even doing here? I thought she was leaving?” he asked, unable to hide the cold expression on his face.

Rey smiled. She wanted to point out how ridiculous the both of them were being. She wanted to tell Finn to just kiss him already and stop bickering. But she resigned. “Good luck, Finn.”

Finn glanced back at that tent again and shook his head. He frowned. “May the Force be with you,” he told Rey, not very enthusiastically.

Rey put a hand on his shoulder. “No. May the Force with you. I’m afraid you’ll need it far more than I will,” he scoffed, turning around to make her way onto the ship.

Finn looked after her, frowning still. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“You know how reckless the two of you can be. Might as well tell him while you have the chance,” she said, glancing back at Finn. “You never know which moment will be your last.”

~~~

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He didn’t need this right now. He was already hurting so badly from the loss of two of the most important people in his life. Leia was like an anchor, his gravity. She grounded him, literally and figuratively. And now that was gone. He had to be his own anchor.

Snap was one of his greatest confidants. He’d gone through training school with him in the Navy. He’d grown up with him. When Poe was having relationship problems, Snap was always there to listen. And, now more than ever, he needed Snap. He’d never fallen so deeply and desperately for someone before. And to have no reciprocation hurt more than he thought it would.

“Need a shoulder to cry on?” a raspy voice said from behind him.

Poe took a deep breath, holding back the pain he needed to let out. Zorii didn’t need to see him like that. She was never very comfortable with emotions. “I’m fine.” He wondered what she was even doing here. “I thought you were leaving today?”

“Babu is repairing the ship. We wanted to wait until everyone left,” she said, walking around to stand in front of him where she could see his red eyes and tired face. “Didn’t want to take up supplies or space when the others needed it.”

Poe could see his reflection in her helmet. He looked old. Tired. He wondered if Zorii ever felt the same way. He cleared his throat. “That was thoughtful. I appreciate it,” he told her.

She pressed the button on the side of her helmet, revealing her eyes when the shield slid up. Poe had always liked her eyes. Looking into them made him feel less old. It reminded him of being a sixteen year old runaway chasing a thrill. It reminded him of when he thought he liked girls. Now more than ever, he wished he did.

“Why were you crying?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Probably has something to do with losing two of the closest people in my life…” Poe shook his head, closing his eyes. “It’s my job as the General to see to it that there is a memorial. Not just for them but for everyone. I don’t know how to do any of this without her.”

Zorii stood there in silence, analyzing him carefully. Poe almos thought she wasn’t going to say anything. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d just stood there in silence and offered her presence. Oftentimes, that was enough as her presence could speak volumes. But then she spoke. “Last I checked, you weren’t the only General around here.”

Poe couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Why did that heartbreak always have to accompany the others. He groaned. “Right,” he said, almost spitefully.

“From what I’ve seen, you’re afraid of losing him too,” she said. “Don’t just stand there and look sad, Dameron. Do something about it. You’ve never been afraid of flying into the unknown before. Now isn’t the time to start.”

“Zorii!” Finn’s voice called from outside the tent. Poe and Zorii made eye contact and they heard Finn approaching the tent. Poe turned just in time to watch Finn enter.

~~~

“Hey,” Finn told Zorii, nearly scolding her. “What are you still doing here? I thought you were leaving.”

Poe sputtered in shock at Finn straightforwardness. “Excuse me, Finn. Buddy, we were talking.”

“He was talking,” Zorii corrected. “I was mostly listening.”

Finn nodded and smiled shortly, glancing between the two of them. “That’s great. But anyone can listen to Poe. Not just anyone can-”

“Anyone but you, apparently,” Poe argued.

Finn held a gaze with Poe, something long and intense. Zorii then cleared her throat. “I’m gonna go see if Babu has finished repairs.” Finn watched as she left, hoping he’d interrupted them in time.

“Unbelievable,” he heard Poe mutter as he turned to Finn, a look of disbelief on his face. He scowled. “What the hell is the matter with you? Who taught you how to talk to someone like that?”

Finn squinted at Poe. He didn’t think he’d been that strange with Zorii. Maybe a little bit firm. He sighed, glancing between Poe and the exit of the tent. “I wasn’t that bad.”

Poe scoffed. “If you don’t like her, you can just say so.”

“I don’t like her,” Finn said honestly, catching Poe even more off guard.

“What?! Why?!” Poe asked in shock. Then he snapped his fingers together and poked at Finn’s chest in anger. “Nevermind. I think I know why. You have a thing against Spice Runners. Well, guess what? Just like Stormtroopers, Spice Runners are people too!”

“I don’t like her for the same reasons that you don’t like Rey!”

~~~

Poe stood there in silence this time. He didn’t know what Finn meant by that. Did Finn really know? Or did he think he knew? Poe searched Finn’s face for any sign of the answer. No luck there. “I like Rey,” Poe swore. He did. He really did. Rey was amazing. What was there not to like about her. Other than her being the sole earner of Finn’s affection. Poe would admit, he hated her for that.

“You don’t like her and you damn well know why,” Finn told Poe firmly.

“Sure, I do. But do you?” Poe asked, his frustration with Finn beginning to boil over.

“I think I do,” Finn admitted.

Poe blinked at Finn before he scoffed. “You don’t know-” Poe’s words were strangled when Finn’s mouth was suddenly on his, kissing him roughly. Poe felt Finn’s hands moving from the sides of his face to his waist, pulling him close. Poe could have sworn he was kissing Finn back but when Finn pulled back, he wondered if maybe he’d forgotten.

“I know, Poe,” Finn panted through kiss swollen lips. “And I don’t like being jealous any more than you do.”

Poe huffed, looking off to the side to shake his head. “And it took you getting jealous to do something about it?” Poe asked, disappointment clearly in his voice. He looked at Finn, pouting bitterly.

“That’s better than you. You’ve been jealous for who knows how long and you never did anything about it-”

“I didn’t think you cared about me like that,” Poe blurted. “Our friendship means too much to me to ruin it by being selfish.”

“So instead you ruin it by allowing your jealousy to drive a wedge between us?”

The words repulsed Poe to the point that he physically felt the need to put distance between him and Finn. Finn’s hands were still firmly at his waist. He tried to pry himself free of Finn’s grip. At this point, he didn’t know if Finn was trying to hurt him. He didn’t know if Finn was his friend at all. All he knew was that he didn’t like how Finn was making him feel and he wanted to get away.

~~~

Finn felt Poe squirming in his arms, trying to break free from him. His eyes were red with tears. Finn sighed, realizing the harshness of his words and the implications that may come with them. “I’m sorry, Poe. That’s not what I meant. I just…” He allowed Poe to step back. He knew there was no point in trying to keep him there. Poe was never the type to stay in one place for long. “I’m sorry,” Finn apologized, adjusting his tone so it wasn’t so brash and harsh.

“I can’t help how I feel, Finn,” Poe croaked.

“I know. And neither can I,” Finn said. “I wasn’t blaming you. I’m not actually mad at you, I swear. I’m frustrated that we couldn’t figure this out sooner. And not have all this happen, all of our fighting, this tension between us that hurts. I-I don’t want that.”

Finn took a step towards Poe, glad he didn’t move. He carefully reached up to hold Poe’s face, to look into his eyes. “I’m really sorry for the hurtful things I’ve said while I’ve been frustrated with whatever this is going on between us. What I said yesterday, what I just said… those things could only hurt you. I said them because I was frustrated-” Finn saw tears stream down Poe’s face and his heart broke for him. Had he really hurt him that bad? “-not with you, Poe.”

Poe stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Finn. He buried his face in the other man’s shoulders and sobbed. For reasons. Many of them. Because Finn was sorry. Because Finn cared about him. Because Finn kissed him. Because Finn held him back and he was so warm.

Because Leia wasn’t there anymore and neither was Snap. And Finn was there. Finn wanted him. Finn held him.

Finn cried with him.

Finn had been jealous too.


End file.
